expat blogger

living in Serbia

Friday, June 25, 2010

Bulgarian (orange coat) Chronicle

January 2009
I haven't worn the orange coat lately. I am trying not to draw so much attention to myself here in Serbia. My American tongue draws enough attention, Trust me!
I though about taking my orange coat to Bulgaria and then thought better of it. It didn't matter, I had one of those experiences.... We (my all girl crew of Marie-Noelle, Jenia, and my new slumber party pal, Nicole) were staying at a nice hotel in Sofia. Our Hotel had a comfortable mix of international people, I especially enjoyed hearing the Americans talk. They were very friendly, Of course they were mostly male construction workers stuck there to wait out the snow that was fresh on the ground, bored out of their minds and probably as homesick as me. I am sure they enjoyed having other Americans around and being female may have been a plus. Who can say....

In our Hotel there were also some 3 Italian men. They were not the kind that make for nice dreams, They were actually rather unattractive, with the manners of the manners of the typical Italian.(Overly Flirtatious to a fault) There were two tall ones and one short one, just taller than me.

I happened to get stuck in an elevator with them.The elevators at this hotel, I must tell you were excessively small. The capacity on the door said limit 5. But I am not sure how one could fit 5 people in these elevators. As it was, there were 3 of us when I stepped on and it was comfortable. Then one more Italian hopped on. It was cramped. The last one on introduced himself giving me his hand to shake and telling me he name which I am sure was something like Fabio. I have forgotten. Then they all began to talk to me. Fortunately we were only going to the fourth floor so it was a quick ride. I gave them my name speaking only in Serbian, The little one understood and spoke to me in the same tongue.

They asked if I was Serbian and I told them I was American, MARRIED to a Serb. The little guy said he was from Youngstown, Ohio. I assured him I knew he was not. and fortunately we got to my floor. I hurried off the elevator forgetting to say goodbye, and the little guy sorta still questioning me still, said goodbye. I quickly walked the short maybe 6 steps to my door and went in to tell the girls about my experience. Then there was a knock at the door. I wouldn't answer it. We looked out the peep hole and of course it was them. standing against the wall across from the door to the right almost out of sight of the peephole.

Marie-Noelle Took care of it and they went away. They were a bit more of any annoyance for the remainder of our stay, and needless to say I avoided them like the plague, even to the point of having to leave a cafe to avoid any further contact.

It was more than lightly amusing.
I think the funniest part was when Nicole and I were coming off the elevator on our floor a day later and saw that there door was wide open almost directly across from the elevator. Nicole and I ran out of the telephone booth sized contraption and ran toward our door. As we were running, I pushed Nicole into the door next to ours. (Sorry again Nicole!) trying to get the key into the door. It was like being at summer camp again. Nicole and I were giggling like little girls. That was pretty much the end of it. Marie-Noelle was the camp counselor and put an end to any further problems the Italians tried to make. They left the same time as Marie-Noelle and Nicole around 4 AM on Monday morning. We saw there car leave the hotel and then again for the last time as our cab pulled up to the incredibly small Sofia Airport. Bon Voyage!
WOW, am I really 36. I still feel like I am 15.

That is the end my little story. Hope it made you laugh, and I wish you all some funny Orange coat type experiences. And when you have them, write me I would love to hear about them!
The beginning of the Orange coat escapades!
My Bulgarian Crew + 1

Chronicles of Serbia III Christmas

Hello Friends and family,

I am continuing on with my little memoirs. I realize many of you will be too busy to read this now. But I felt like writing so here goes...

Christmas and New Years
I thought it would be interesting for you to know a little about Christmas and new years traditions here in Serbia. I found out that Santa has a house in Northern Finland near the north pole and here he is called Deda Mraz. That literally translated means Grandpa Frost. Deda Mraz gives gifts to little children and he is well loved by all.

Christmas is very different than that of the US and it is celbrated on January 7 not Dec 25.
I would like to mention, That I am happier with the way I perceive Christmas being celebrated here in Serbia. It is much more about family and Christ's birth, rather than Santa Clause and Gifts. The people here spend a lot more time on each other. Christmas is a relaxed time to love each other.
I really like that.)

Christmas here is celebrated at home with family or in Church. The Church usually has scheduled prayers and is a busy place for Christmas Eve and Christmas. Many people fast for Christmas eve, and celebrate on Christmas day with a feast not unlike the slavas I have written about in my previous letters.

New Years Eve is celebrated out with many people lots of food and drinks... The celebration may last for a few days to a couple of weeks. I believe that is because there is a lot of unemployment and lots of free time as a result.

There is usually lots of Music. There are lots of concerts all over Serbia for New Years.
And, if families here are affluent enough to give gifts, they are presented on New Years to children and possibly adults.

Serbia has it's own Christmas or New Years Tree. It is an oak. Oak branches are hung out side people's apartments and many are burned for good luck, Love, health, etc. There are still some hanging outside of some apartment in my building from last year. (I prefer Christmas lights!)

There are Christmas lights strung all over town, just like in the States, but they are really New Years Lights. There are snow flakes, Christmas trees, and all sorts of things in some nontraditional colors.

It doesn't feel like Christmas here. I haven't put up a tree, although I could get one. Milan's sister and I put up some decorations, but it's not really like Christmas. I just can not get into the spirit. I think I would be more homesick if I did and therefore I just don't want to. I will be home in a few months and that is what I am looking forward to. (Pardon the preposition at the end of the sentence.)

For Christmas Milan and I are going out to dinner and relaxing. I am hoping it will be nice.

What I am really looking forward to is a visit from our friends Marie-Noelle, Jenia, and Nicole from Ocean City. They will be my Christmas this year. I am so happy to have that to look forward to in January. Plus possibly going to Sofia, the capital of Bulgaria and seeing some other friends from OC.

Things I am beginning to understand
In the past I have read about paralyzing homesickness or culture shock. I have days when I am paralyzed by homesickness and depression. It may last a day or two and then I am back to myself. I think I get so overtired from everything and listening to this foreign language. You just want quiet rest. A friend of mine who was working in Cambodia told me about this and I couldn't understand. It is because your mentality different when you go on vacation and when you go for an extended time.

The good part of this is I get rested up and refueled for adventure. Then I go and take more pictures and have more exciting experiences to write about. I am glad to be experiencing this, the good and the bad. Now I can better understand the foreign students who come to live in OC for the summer and will have a more mature perspective of living abroad.

A mental Picture
It's not easy coping with a move from one town to the next in the U.S. If you have any idea how difficult it is... finding the best grocery store, a church, schools, doctors, and how to get around. Then try to imagine doing it without your first language. That not only do you have to find the grocery store and where everything is inside, but they don't carry the things you are accustomed to, because they never use those things. They have no idea what you are looking for even if you could explain to them, which you cannot because the language is a problem... These are the things that plague those of us who are living abroad and laugh about later, because it is such an interesting dilima.

Confusing question in Serbia (Comedy)
When someone asks you: do you suck, they mean... Do you smoke... that was a shocking question my first week here in Serbia. I just remembered today and thought you might find it amusing. I did after I recovered from shock and realized what they meant. :)

Mail
Something that is really perplexing is the mail here... I have received 2 Christmas cards in good time. But when I send mail out it takes a month or two. Can anyone explain??? I'm in the Twilight Zone!

Things I miss
MOVIES
Before Milan and I arrived, Milan assured me that when we came here we could relax and go to the movies. I was rally looking forward to this. When we arrive, we found that the movie theater in town had closed. The town cultural center shows movies on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, when it is not occupied by school children. That happens often. They have to sell 4 or 5 tickets to show the film. Often not enough people show up. The movies are a few months late. The ones they are showing now are the ones that were playing in the states this summer, Kung Fu Panda, Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Kaspian, and the dated list goes on... This week there are no movies listed and I am afraid that since attendance has been so poor movies may not be available anymore.

Christmas Cards
Today I went to send out a few Christmas cards to family. The Christmas cards are actually mostly New years cards and will probably arrive in the States in a month or two..maybe even July. I only sent a few because of the lateness of their arrival here and because of how long it will take them to arrive in the States. Anyway...

Well first I thought I was in line and two ladies jumped in front of me at the counter. Apparantly I was not standing correctly. Then I got in line the right way. As the people lined up behind me they began pressing closer and closer. Like sardines... that may have had something to do with no one getting done at the front of the line. I don't know what was going on, what they were sending, but they were there for 20 minutes.

(The guy behind the counter looked "Interesting" He had eyes that kind of bugged out and were facing either side of his head. His peripheral vision must be awesome, but I am not sure of his frontal vision. ??
He was bald on top and had an oblong raised spot right above his fore head. I am sure he is smart and adequate for his job, but he looks like a character in a comedy about how the post office is deffective. )

When the people in the front of the line finally moved on, the line progressed rapidly. After standing so long so close together, I had to move slightly out of line to take a breath, I looked behind me and the guy was sweating from the body heat of so many bodies pressed so closely. I think he thought he could bump me out of line but I kept my foot in and became aggressive. He stepped back.. no words needed..Good thing, I would have had to be aggressive with Serbian baby talk! LOL I can just imaging how that would have gone.

I finally gave my letters to the post master who looked at the letters and asked "Sve Ameriku" (all in America). I said yes and he looked bothered that he had to get up to get more stamps. The guy behind me said something and I have no idea what. I just smiled and looked back to the post man.

I find that it is either annoyance or jubilee that people respond with when they find out that I am American. The guy at the card shop was eager to talk to me, but he only new Serbian and Russian. He spoke to me in Serbian and told me his son was working in Washington, DC. He also went to the back and was eager to show me a picture of himself and the American ambassador to Serbia, who I of course do not know. But I have to say, I prefer this kindness to annoyance to my being American. I mean, it's not like I can help it.
And the more I am here the more I appreciate the US!

I can tell you here I have been shocked at the things we take for granted that people haven't seen before here. Ziplock bags I brought from home make people stare. I looked all over for just straight bleach. I Finally found it in a big REAL grocery store in Nis. When I got home I found it is really watered down.

I guess that will be all for now, I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas. Whether you are with your families, or away from Home you can always find something to dislike about it, I recommend trying to enjoy it and learn from it. Make the best of it! That is what I am trying to do here. It's a new adventure and just the beginning!

Srecan Bozic i Nova Godina
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Chronicles of Serbia II

December 8, 2008

Hello Friends, Here is another long letter about life here. Get a cup of tea or coffee and settle in for a long one.


Deda means Grandpa
Today I went for a walk to take pictures in Knjayevac. There are still many places I haven't seen here yet and it still feels like an adventure just to take a walk around town. It wasn’t a long walk, because as I walked I realized I was close to Deda Tole’s house. I really like him and wanted to stop by but wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. I was afraid hey may be busy with something. Deda is know for his hard working character. He is always busy working on something and his super large hands filled with muscles are a witness to that hard work. Seriously, one of his hands can cover his entire face. Small sweet man with very large hands. He is definitely the kind of man you want for a grandpa!

As I was walking to his house I saw an old lady dressed in Serbian granny clothes. A sweater, thick stockings, plastic “Maryjane” type shoes (good for anytime of work outside and are used by male and females),and a kerchief tied around her head like in All the old nursery rhyme books. She was adorable!

She had mail in her hand and was looking toward Deda’s house. I asked he in my very limited Serbian if Tole was home and she didn’t think so and was probably going to turn back. I rang his door bell that is actually located on the fence outside of his house. It’s different and cool. When he came outside he looked really happy to see me. He said a few words to the little lady and she gave me his mail and we, Deda and I, go inside his cozy little home.

Words cannot express how warm and loved I feel from Milan’s family. Family is so important here, and I am a novelty family member being from the U.S. Deda Tole loves to tell his friends about his American grand daughter. I can see it in his eyes. Adorable! America is like a mythical place to some of the people here. There are may misconceptions about how wonderful the U.S. is, kinda like a Disney world for life… Brought on by the happy ending movies and television shows.

Deda made me coffee and gave me apple and grapes to munch on, as well as a loaf of bread, unsliced old world style, and hard boiled eggs not yet peeled. There is really nice homey feeling there. So casual and friendly. It makes me relax…until I have to struggle to speak in Serbia. Then I get a little frazzled and have to tell myself, slow down and think. I know a lot of words, I just have a hard time remembering them when I need them. And, there are so may basic words used in sentences that I am lacking, I am sure I sound like a toddler when I speak.

He and I talk as much as we can and then needs to do some farm work. I tell him I want to help and he tries to deter me but I insist. I help him mix the pigs food, which consists of small whole apples, grain, hot water, scraps, hot water and then we take it out to the shed for the finishing touch. He chops up dry ears of corn into small inch wide pieces. He chops them with an ax and the skill of a chef. when he is finished and much of the corn kernels have flown all over the room he ads the chopped Cob to the. hot pig slop stew.
The rain has come!
It has been raining outside for the past few days and there is mud everywhere so he insists I put on a pair of boots that he takes out of a bag. I believe they are his new winter boots and fear I will ruin them before he even gets to wear them. They only get dirty on the bottom while we are tramping around the “farm”.

His house is in the town of Knjazevac. It is not unusual to see houses that have the makings of what we would see only in the country. At his house there are only pigs, chickens, a dog and a cat that I saw. But there is also a large building across the street (4 Stories!) that works as a large storehouse like a barn. On the bottom level Milan told me there is a garage for fixing cars, there is storage for dried corn cobs, Barrels of wheat, grapes layed out to dry, tools, and all kinds of odds and ends. There is also a large clothes line hung up in one of the large rooms for drying clothes, as there are very few clothes driers.

It is amazing. I had such an education today. I really had a good day. I am so simple. It takes little to make my day good… or bad. Being in A FOREIGNER seems to intensify my experiences. Good or Bad.

I have been studying the language a lot more lately, Yesterday, Milan and I went to the library and got some children’s books for me to read, the library is practically right outside the front door. How convenient! I am trying to learn more words so I can talk and read the children’s books… so I am trying to be ingenuitive in my studies… right now our bathroom door covered in words in English and in Serbian. I figure, if I’m gonna sit down I might as well learn!

Tomorrow We are going to the Village of Vina to have a feast after a pig is butchered. Sounds like more fun down on the farm! LOL I will continue writing this new Serbian Chronicle after I return from this new adventure…


About the Pig Roast!!
I was leery of going to this, but Milan insisted. It was actually nice, accept there was little for me to do, but watch. And I was grateful the pig was already dead when we got there. Milan worked away all day, as did most of the men on the farm, cutting and preparing the very large hog for roasting. And we had a lovely dinner. Just one snag at dinner... The customs here are much different than those of the US. I am accustomed to clearing the plates to get ready for dessert. I did this and found it was a big mistake. Everyone keeps their plates and continues to pick even after eating several large courses. It is overwhelming to me. I assumed I was helping and kinda screwed things up. Oh well, not the worst mistake I could make, I suppose. When we first arrived I watched the bread while it baked in the wood burning oven. Baba went to take a nap and left me in charge. She makes great bread!
After the bread was done, I abandoned the families home to explore the village. This is my favorite part of being in Serbia. I love exploring. I am seeing things I have seen in books and Nationally geographic magazines. Really COOL! I took a bunch of pictures of the barns and old houses in the village. After I had taken a picture of a cat in a window, A lady came out to see what I was doing. May I remind you at this point that, most villages don't see strangers, and especially strangers with cameras. This Kindly lady started speaking to me and I had to tell her I only speak a little Serbian, I am American. She was so excited, and so nice. She started showing me around and telling me how beautiful Vina used to be and a bunch of stuff I couldn't understand. LOL She walked me around a bit and then introduced me to her neighbor. Their names were Dobrilla and Ljiljiana, respectively. I told them who my family was and apparently, Ljiljiana is a a relative of mine. When I got back and showed the pictures I took to Milan, He told me lots of the houses I took pictures of were our families. Our Thanksgiving...I had planned to make an American Thanksgiving for the friends and family here,but it turns out you can't find most of the ingredients for Thanksgiving dinners in Europe. I looked it up online after getting frustrated at the grocery store.... and Thanksgiving in the new world was traditionally foods only found in the new world. Even a friend of mine in London couldn't find some of the ingredients he was looking for. So, there was no hope for me in my little town of Knjazevac. There are no Pecans or corn syrup here so there is no way I can make a pecan pie either. :( We did have a good dinner for Thanksgiving. It ended up only being Milan, his parents, and myfriend and Serbian Language teacher, Miriana. I roasted a Chicken, (No turkeys here) and made potatoes, some other random things. For dessert I made American pancakes. Some were plain. some I added apples to and some with apples and cinnamon. They were a hit. Everyone here loves them and the apple pies, and chocolate chip cookies. I also make some little tea cookies with the pie dough I make. Milan's friends and family really like them too. There is a big holiday for Milan's family coming up on the 17th of Dec. We will go to Baba's house and have a big dinner. not sure what else. I will let y'all know all about that when we get back. (sorry, Kimmie, took this bit from my letter to you.) Christmas is not the same here at all. It is celebrated on January 7, after new year. THey use the Jullian calendar instead of the Gregorian that we use. So, I will get to celebrate Christmas twice. I think for our Christmas on December 25 we will just relax and Have a lovely Dinner. That is what we did last year, and I liked better than giving and receiving gifts. It was really more enjoyable than all the hustle and bustle of all teh expected comercial holidays. Just about enjoying the family. Serbians Celebrate a lot of things differently and I am enjoying combining things I like about our culture in the US and His culture to make out life a mess of both cultures.
I wil let you knwo how both of our Christmases go as well as out St. Nikola holiday on December 17. Not quite the same as St. Nikolas... But Almost. It's a long story and at this point my fingers are tired of typing. Things that are different in Serbia.... FUNNYThe adds on my Yahoo site here in Serbia often include advertisements for working in America & or Green card lotteries for the US! They play old Disney Cartoons, The classics on TV. They are wonderful and funny... Sometimes even funnier because the words are in Serbian, but in Mickey's, Goofy's, Minnie's, or whoever's voice. I realy enjoy watching them. When I speak in English in public, everyone stares. We are in a small town and I am deffinetly different. Not many people speak English here and It's kinda cool. Milan and I don't have to whisper in public... almost no one understands us. We have our private language. Computer keyboards, Some have a lot of different letters and symbols on them. Everything is in a different place. That can be a bit challenging at times.
Cool things...I am starting to understand a lot more. I can have very small converstations. And I am really enjoying that. Most yards, in town or in the village have flower gardens and decks outside that have grape vines overhead that provide shade on hot summer days. They are lovey to sit under for any meal of the day. Just Friday here, we had a pig roast and used the vinecovered deck for grilling and eating! It was an unseasonably warm day here. (60 degrees) I can be in a different country in about 15 minutes, or just a few hours for several others. Haven't gone anywhere. Have seen two ancient roman cites ruins and lots of turkish architecture. They controlled Serbia for hundreds of years. The good and bad... Sunday's are still a day of rest and things are simpler here like it was in the States 30 or 40 years ago or earlier... and yes I remember some of that. It's nice there is a slower pace, but one has to give up some of the modern convieniences with that slower pace. The bad part is the social probelms we have overcome in the last 30 or 40 years have not yet been over come. I am praying it doesn't take as long here as it did in the US. There are no Christmas cards that I have seen here yet... That may be because the Christmas Season is different than ours or more likely it is not part of their traditions. I am sure if I were in a bigger city I may find some but not here in Knjazevac yet. Not so good things... I still can not understand a whole lot and that is frustrating... Especially when I want to go to the butchers or post office. I am fortunate to have Milan and his family! (this does come in handy when I don't want to pay attention or I don't want to understand, but that isn't very often.) I cannot find any English speaking churches. I hear there is one about 45 Minutes away. But that is far when we usually have to work in the village on Saturday and Sunday. A friend of mine is checking on a bptist church for me, and I am really excited to hear back from him. There is no Cold cycle on the washer here. I didn't know that until I had done a few loads and had a little color bleeding. :( I am learning more and more everyday, I think of things to write all the time, but I often forget them before I get a chance to write them down. I have been trying to carry my notebook everywhere with me so I don't forget the good stuff. I make funny mistakes all the time in my pronounciation and Milan and his family get a kick out of it laughing and correcting me. This will go on for years I am sure because I am still enjoying the funny mistakes he makes. Just this past week he told me he was "holding onto his bridges" instead of britches... I laughed almost as much as when he told me to "knock myself up" instead of "knock myself out". Learning the language and about each other never ends. I am learning we all have a lot more in common and fun things to learn from each other. It is an adventure and I am enjoying the good times and working through the bad. I hope I am not boring you with my tails...
I would love to hear from you and hear how things are in your part of the world! My love and wonderful Christmas wishes to you and your families!XO from Serbia,Tina
Snow man in the play ground
Snowy Timok River
Hunting society, where you get a hunting license. But only if you have already served in the army. you cannot have a gun unless you have served your time in the army.
A 1995 painting of Knjazevac
the horse and buggy sign
in the park
Christmas day!
The River Timok
Sveti Nikola
Papa and Milan Carrying on traditions

I dreamt of Earl Grey Tea

Note to readers,
This was written in November of 2008.
I am posting all my notes from Serbia. I will be writing new ones as I benefit from it more than anyone else.

I dreamt of Earl Gray Tea

No seriously I did! I dreamt of Earl Gray Tea last night. I can't find it anywhere here. The teas available are mostly herbal. No one drinks English teas or the most common American strain, (No Pun Intended), Orange Pekoe.

The things I miss are simple things like filter coffee, light switches inside the room, answering the telephone and knowing the person will understand me and vice verse, watching current television shows, American football without the play by play being dubbed in Italian, clothes dryers, and dishwashers. Seriously I could go on for a long time, but...

Friends are what I miss most. It is really difficult to make friends when no one speaks your language. Milan is tired of hearing me talk about how I wish this or that, I finally had to tell him, He is the only one I can really talk to. First there is the language barrier and then, I don't really know anyone else. I am grateful for Milan's sister Milica, but she is in School in Nis 30 min away. She comes home every other weekend. Then there is his cousin, Danica. Her English is Excellent. I love talking to her, but we aren't that close... yet.

I am getting closer to my Serbian Teacher, Mirijana. She is married to Milan's friend Sveta. They are a lovely couple. Mirijana is from the west so she understands my homesickness. Things are really different here in Knjazevaz from here home too. So we can commiserate. Last time I went to visit her she said she felt like she was in Africa, I laughed till tears were ruining my mascara. I had just said the same thing to Milan the day before!

It is gray, dreary, and cold here, it hasn't rained since I arrived exactly one month ago. The skies have been cloudy more often than not. Like the sky is constipated. I think it's that time of year, but I could use a good rain. Psychologically it would match my state of mind. Then maybe things could clear up a bit. I just heard it is spose to snow or sleet on Friday. I hope it snows!

We have been keeping busy; it seems there is always some Slava dinner to go to. (Slava is a dinner to recognize a patron saint of a family)I don't think there is an ending to the amount of saints in this country. There may be as many gods in India. Seriously, I have been here for one month exactly and I have already been to 3 slavas, and I'm going to another one this Friday!There are typically 6 courses, so you can't fill up too quickly.

We have been taking many little excursions. On Friday, we went to a mountain called, Babin Zub, which literally means, "grandmother's tooth". It was lovely up there, but again overcast. A large cloud hovered over nearby mountains. A lovely wolf-dog followed us around the hike on the mountain. He was super friendly, and beautiful.

I have made several apple pies that have been very well received. I will probably be teaching a few friends here how to make them soon. Yesterday I made Pancakes from a recipe I found online. They were O.K. Milan really liked them but I was not so happy with them. I will try another recipe soon. Any suggestions??

Last week I made a Pot roast for Mama and Papa. They both said they liked it but Papa kept saying it would be better if it were pork, which is the main meat here. Mama said it was good and that she really liked it, but... Two days latter when I forgot to bring the apple pie to her house for dinner she ran back to our house to get the pie for me. When Milan and I returned home we found his mom had eaten the rest of the pot roast all but the Beef!!! LOL NO wonder she had no room for the dinner she had prepared for us!

Hope this finds you all well and preparing for the Holidays. I think Milan and I will be having friends and family over to our flat for a Semi-traditional thanksgiving dinner. I will let you all know how that turns out!