Waking up in Novi Sad

A few weeks ago I spent a week in Novi Sad with a wonderful friend and her family. It was such a pleasure to wake up with English and go to sleep to it. The entire week was in English. My host family speaks both Serbian and English, but spoke English mostly for me. I cannot tell you how relaxing this was, not to have to try to understand. No stress!

I enjoyed waking up with the kids, watching cartoons, and playing cars and games with them. I also spent time teaching them new games and making beautiful snowflakes with them. Without a language barrier, much more was possible. Imagine trying to teach someone a new game with rules when there is a great wall between you. That is how how it is when you cannot communicate. 

You may think it is incredibly lazy that I don't speak Serbian yet, but I do put effort into it. I am learning, slowly. I must also tell you, I have met a few other expats like me who do not even care to try. 

At home my husband and I speak English. Once in a while a few Serbian words are sprinkled in. I am understanding more than last time when I was here, and get along O.K. on my own, but miss out on most of the conversation. And it is extremely exhausting. After an hour or so of listening my brain kinda shuts off.  Sometimes even sooner. Especially if the conversation in boring. I just quit trying, switch the brain to another channel, and usually feel kind of alone. That is why this week was so magical.

I was only alone, when I was alone! Glorious! and I didn't mind because I was exploring a gorgeous city. In fact, I haven't this kind of wonderful alone time in a while, and I realized I had missed it, a lot. I think some of that kind of alone may be called FREEDOM. such a lovely word. Wow, and I am realizing as I am writing this that I feel caged in my little Serbian town. I feel limited, muzzled, and alone.

The fact is, when I got back to my town, I couldn't wait to leave again. And when people ask me how I like our town, I am honest with them. I do like it. But I cannot be completely honest. It would be rude. But most of the time I am just sad and alone in this town.

Novi Sad gave me Wings, a Tongue, and Free time! I could be me. My heart was light and singing like Maria in the Sound of Music! Cheesy, but true.

I had wonderful discussions with my friend every morning over coffee and great times playing with the kids. I cannot express the joy of having some one who understands the way I think, and not to have to worry weather I may somehow offend him or her with my thoughts. Refreshing.

To help some of you understand, things that are completely natural here are not tolerated or accepted in where I am from, and the opposite is also true. I cannot speak freely, because the way I think and what I believe, is not O.K.  To speak freely here would be like saying, "The sun is the center of our universe," to the old Catholic Church. It doesn't go over well. Sometimes I feel like there is an iron curtain over me. It is very heavy.

I believe I am adjusting to living here, but like all adjustment there are hard parts. This is one of them. Anyone who has lived in another country for more than a short vacation can surely empathize. One must give up something for another. It will take time for me to be truly comfortable here, if that is even possible. I am really not sure. Time will tell.

The family and friends that I have here make all the difference in the world. They make my time here so much better and I don't believe I could be here without their love and support. I am really happy to have them.

I am hoping that if we buy a house here, and I have a little space of my own, things will feel a bit different. I will have the freedom to be myself in my own home. I can decorate it and grow a nice garden. Hard work and a nice living space can make all the difference in the world for your psyche.

I would love to hear what you think on this subject of trying to make a home here in my second home. I am open to advice as long as you are kind. I would love your thoughts on the situation, especially if you have first hand experience with this. Thank your for reading and for your kind, helpful comments.

One more blog to come next week on my Novi Sad Trip. Until then, have a great week.

The Old House & The International holidays of February the 14th

Right now, as I type, Somewhere not far off an traditional Serbian Ompah band is belting out as if there is a wedding. But it is Monday, so I am sure they are practicing. This is slightly enchanting, even though I really hate the music.

The Mux and I have been toying with the idea of buying a house here.  We went to look at one in his village a few days ago. Though the house is only about 60 years old, the feel of the place is much more antique.

This is a worn out little building beside the house we looked at. I like the hearts on the door. The door is so worn, it isn't even on the hinges anymore. The inside is a mess with an old bed and a few forgotten stored items.

The nice little kitchen includes a wood fueled oven and an electric one. Here in Serbia there are often couches in the kitchen, that convert into beds. I think it is a novel idea, even if I am not fond of the way it looks. It saves on heating the whole house with more than one wood burning stove.  The sink and wood stove are just out of view.

 It was a lovely old village house. The house is from the 1940's or 50's era. It needs some repairs, but Milan says he could do them. We are undecided, but it is fun to dream about exotic old homes. How we could fix up the yard and make a nice garden behind.  This feels like a super bowl commercial in my other wise boring life.

Feminine Sensitive info here. If you are a guy you may want to skip down a bit... You have been warned.  Maybe you can tell by the tone of my words, I have been jaded by having to wear a cast for a couple of weeks, hope I can get it off Friday. It is doing numbers on my mind!

I believe my "Friend of the months" is also a culprit of my no so chipper attitude. The word friend is used lightly, sarcastically, and maybe even as an antonym. I may have made two friends into enemies with my monthly Jekyll and Hyde transformation. I was a bit evil at dinner last night, even though I was trying to remain my usual friendly self. All the trying in the world couldn't reign in Mrs. Hyde.

I find the Jekyll and Hyde is an appropriate name for my two selves as I am such a changed person sometimes. And because the historical character, Deacon Brodie, whose life was made into the story was born on the same day as me! just 200 years earlier.

 This brings me to a topic that some Expat woman may find helpful. The Diva Cup! I am in love with this product. In many countries all over the world, female sanitary products are not as wide in variety as in the western world. If you are traveling to non-western countries you may want to take your favorite products or even have them shipped to you. I stocked up and brought mine until I found this little silicon cup. There are different names for it... Moon cup is another name. I do recommend it and if you are interested, do some research and find out if it may be a good option for you. There is no need to buy monthly products, and it is so small it fits in a pocket.  Two Big thumbs up!

Males may resume reading here...

Happy Valentine's Day! Here is it is Sveti (Saint) Trifun's day. He is the saint of wine. I think these two holidays go well together. The Ompah band is playing to celebrate this Holiday.
The Ompah band is playing just the other side of our building. Milan saw them when we was going out to get our breakfast pastries from the bakery. The band is starting to be annoying to listen to as I try to put words together. They are unwelcome guests pounding away at my thought process. I will take a break and come back to this rambling later.

Some time after dinner the same day

Great little traditional Serbian Restaurant, the rocks along the bottom of the wall foster several bubbling fountains. The falling waters quiet laughter provides a relaxing atmosphere.

We celebrated this holiday with a nice dinner out. Kod Sasha's was the name of the little place. Literally translated, it means "at Sasha's". The owner waited on us, and the food was exquisite. We had salad, two main courses, wine, beer and coffee. All this cost the same as two Combo meals at McDonald's back home. There was home-made bread and cheeses and even home-made horseradish. Oh my, I am still as stuffed as a turkey on Thanksgiving.

If you are ever in Knjazevac this is the place to go! Sasha's has won several awards for its food. The decor of the place is antique Serbian. The service was great and the food was nothing less than amazing. Before we left, the owner said he had a dish made of cows tail. Sounds really interesting and I am anxious to give it a try next time. 

I had to share a picture of the wine I had with my meal. Medveda Krv or blood of the bear is the name of the wine. It was very nice. I mixed it with Coke, half and half. This is called Bambus. Don't knock it til you try it.

The downstairs Entrance.

While I listened to the house talk in Serbian, I looked through the window to the little house that now haunts my daydreams.

I can't stop thinking of the little house, it is such a romantic idea, and would be fun to work on for the next month and a half that I have left here in Serbia. It would also be nice for our extended family to have this little plot for gardening while we are gone and the house to stay in for some time away from town in the summer.

Only time well till what is to come. I am happy right now just to dream.

Ciao for now,
Please feel free to comment!

Serbian New Year with the Orthodox Celts and Sofija, Bulgaria 2011

Quick shout out to Expat Women. Happy 4th Birthday to a site that shares helpful information on a wide variety of topics. They strive to help expat woman all over the world, more than cope, but cheer them on to thrive!
Bravo to all the people who work on this site, and thank you for caring enough to create a site for woman.
This site covers every topic conceivable for women living all over the world. Please check it out if you are one of these woman. 
http://www.expatwomen.com/

 The Church above is the Russian Orthodox Church of St. Nikola in Sofija, St. Nikola is the patron saint of Serbia, and my family.  Some how when I was taking the photo, the picture was distorted, because it is not as "bendy" as it looks here. Below it is pictured as it really appears.

Serbian New Year is January 14, and it was just as fun as the first!
 Our little town of Knjazevac sprang for the Orthodox Celts, and I love them. The Orthodox Celts are a Serbian band who sing REAL Irish Music. And WELL! I heard the lead singer lived in Ireland for 15 years and I believe it, his accent is "spot on".
If you don't believe me, click on the link below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDTlQ9xgtGk

I first heard this band while I was still dating Milan. On a road trip he played me their CD, and then told me they were Serbian. I couldn't believe it. Then when I heard they were coming to our town here in Serbia, I was so excited.

On this fun eve, we were joined by a bunch of friends at the center of town for the concert. The first band was Borderline, a local group. There weren't half bad, I enjoyed listening  (even to the slightly butchered English in a few of the songs). Overall the lead singer did well. I know I couldn't do better in Serbian.

In short order the Orthodox Celts came on and they were Fantastic! I was so happy to hear English, and with such a lovely accent. The scenery wasn't bad either ;).

The funny thing about listening to the Orthodox Celts is when they stop singing and the lead singer speaks, all of a sudden you are jolted back to Serbia. But not the ordinary redneck Serbian to which I have be accustom. His Serbian is more proper. I had to ask to be sure I was right, but shockingly I was. It an interesting change to my ear. Still it was shocking every time he stopped singing.

After the concert I went inside. I wanted to speak to the lead singer, but there were so many adults and even more small children who were waiting. I didn't want to take any more of his time. I just wanted to ask some questions. I talked first to the violinist, but his English was not so good and he was really new to the band. The Guitar player, Vladav Jovkovic's English was much better and he had been with the band awhile so I was able to ask some questions and get some answers. It was a nice chat.

Vladan told me it was the former violinist, a female who started the band and had even written some of their songs. They started in the early nineties, and the lead singer joined soon after they came together.

Thursday, January 13, Serbian New years eve was a glorious evening with friends. There was even a spectacular display of fireworks at midnight!  When all of the festivities died down, our crew moved on to a traditional restaurant down the road. While on my way to the WC at the restaurant, I ran into a friend, and then a bunch of her friends who had lived in the US. I am always shocked in this town by the number of people who have worked in the states.It's funny sometimes I am overwhelmed by the feeling of loneliness, segregated by language and other times I am surrounded by other internationals. Life is strange.

Sofija
This was my second trip to Sofija and I was excited to revisit this lepa grad (beautiful city). This trip was much different than my first. This time Milan and were accompanying our friends for a dog show in the capital city.

Of course we all needed passports, even the dog! The dog also had to have a microchip and a doctors note assuring he was healthy. When we crossed the border, our passports were stamped and so was the dogs. and then both times we crossed the inspectors stopped us again to check out the dog. It was pretty painless, just a short bit of a wait. This was the way it was for us on both legs of the trip. On the way back to Serbia, just after crossing through the border, I saw a lineup of maybe twenty buses and trucks waiting to go through to Bulgaria. I am glad I was not at the end of that line.

On our way into Bulgaria it was important to make a quick stop to buy a sticker for the car that showed we paid a ecology tax.

The first time I went to Sofija I was with all English speaking people. If I had a choice, I would opt for that, or to go alone. It is better to be alone than feel alone when you are with others. And, I love traveling alone! I am much more used to that, sometimes it is a tough adjustment traveling with others. I think I am just a bit too selfish most of the time.

The weather was much friendlier this time around. Last time my friends and I had a white blanket of snow to schlep around in, that made walking the city a little less comfortable.

This time the weather was cool, but clear, great for walking the beautiful city.

The streets are all cobble stones or actually Yellow Brick, Wait! It's OZ! lol
Look they really are Yellow. Thank God, I am a strong capable woman, and I don't need a wizard. But if I did, I wouldn't know which way to go, the yellow streets are every where.

When we arrived in Sofija, we checked into our apt for rent, and T. and I went to check in at the dog show. She grabbed a catalog that listed all the dogs while we waited in line to register. There were just a few other dogs from Serbia, loads from Bulgaria, a few from the Ukraine, and lots that came all the way from Russia. There was a large charter bus in the parking lot that was filled with dogs and owners from Russia. That would be an interesting road trip.

As this was my first dog show, I didn't know too much about how things go. I mean, I have seen Eukanuba on TV. But it is a huge international affair. This was up close and personal. The show was held at one of the American University Gymnasiums. The entrance was filled with people lined up with their dogs waiting to register, and random people and dogs just standing around. To the side of the room was an area with ping pong tables, University students were playing there the entire weekend.

At 3:30 the doors to the gymnasium opened. In poured the dogs on leashes, cages with dogs, and their people. In short order there were dogs being lead around in circles in each of the three boxed arenas where they would be judged. Tables were set up at the edge of the bleachers and dogs were groomed as if they were at the salon. Some dogs watched all of this from their spacious cages and most were trying to get a sniff of another's bums. Below are some more politically correct dogs, showing some affection.

I don't think you can tell from the picture, but the floors were not well finished. Those who play handball or basketball on this floor must try no to fall, because the groves between the wood slats would prove to be like a grater to the skin.

Dog shows are most often held in the summer, and this one was not up to the standard the summer show set. T. said this one was kind of unorganized and lower quality show. Only first prize in each class got a trophy, and even some of those didn't. The show was interesting, none the less, and I saw some gorgeous dogs and some even more interesting people.

On Saturday evening, I was overjoyed to be reunited with two girls from Bulgaria who lived in OC and worked with me. Over cappuccino we gabbed about all that was going on and what was new in our lives. It was great to see them again.

 The Z00

cotton candy is called slatko vulna or sweet wool.

look ma, no genitals

here kitty kitty

down town

This statue towers over a busy crossroads in the centre of Sofia, on a spot where once stood a statue of Lenin. It was erected in the year 2000 as a millennial symbol of the city. The golden-skinned & black-robed female figure represents wisdom. She holds a laurel wreath and has an owl perched on her arm.

Changing of the guards at the presidents residence

grada

Dedicated to Nicole, Marie Noelle and Xenia, I miss you guys. xoxo Special Thanks to Evelina and Borislava for coming to see me in Bulgaria!! and Happy Birthday Expat Women and many more.
Thank you again for reading and have a great day!